Fireflies

Like putting on a pair of comfortable jeans
I slipped into my mind today
And with each foot
Stepped into my familiar emotions
Without a second thought
My voice told the same story of me
Covering my head and heart in the thick jacket
I have worn all my life
Then I went out to meet the sea
To sit in her rocking chair
And let the whooshing wash over me
To find some stability in her motion
And lose myself in her embrace
Before I could settle in
The wind gave me a blow to the head
The sea kicked mist into my eyes
In my blindness I saw my Self
Melt down like ice in the sun
And fill up again like a jar full of fireflies
Movement
Energy
And Choice
The invisible conductor of the chaos of light
Orchestrating my life
Making music of freedom
Silent to my ears
In her choppy water I caught my reflection
Saw what I had chose to wear that day
And wondered, for the first time,
If there wasn’t something more suitable for the occasion
Did my thoughts need to be replaced by ones less worn and torn?
Did my emotions, which always hurt like brand new shoes, need to be more comfortable?
Did the jacket of my personal history need to be quite so heavy?
Couldn’t I rearrange the molecules of myself
Inside and out
To look better and feel better than before?
If all the lip service subsided
Going through the motions ceased
And real transformation took root
I decided
I just might be able to shed my skin
Spread my wings
And grow into the luminescence
Of the fireflies
It was my choice, after all,
What to think.
How to feel.
Who to be.
It was my choice to be free.